TAKE ACTION NOW!-The Congregation

 

“TAKE ACTION! “

These words screamed at me for months in the 2017 year.

“YOU CAN MAKE THIS WORK, DO IT NOW!”, I would watch myself in the mirror saying this to myself.(Seriously)

Truthfully, like many of you i have at times been paralyzed by my own thoughts and ideas. I would have moments of clarity, but ultimately i kept doing what was comfortable-what i had been doing. You see, for about the last 5 years i have created a really successful and fun 1 on 1 life-coaching business. This has always been a great way to supplement my full-time career. It is something i have done to help people, to challenge people and to encourage people to move forward in their lives. I’ve loved the work and the clients i’ve met and learned from along the way. But in the last year, my mind started daydreaming of how to move this ‘thing’ forward and to help more people.

“Nah, keep doing what you’re doing. It’s fine.”, the big dragon of Resistance would say back to me.

Finally, after a conversation with my friend Michael Littig, i decided to ACT, to give it a shot. I wanted to create a GROUP, ENVIRONMENT, a purposeful COMMUNITY, coaching program. The full details of how that finally happened is for another blog post. But i wanted to do something different than i was doing….and i had to ACT IMMEDIATELY!

“I am starting today and not stopping the work until this program is ready”-I finally said to myself and to Michael as i asked him to hold me accountable to making it happen.

That is what this post is about-TAKING ACTION!

After a ton of sweat, tears and work, what finally came about was my program called-The CongregationIf you’ve read my blog at all in the last year, you’ve read my posts about The Congregation

2 groups and over 20 people have taken the CALL TO ACTION and put in some amazing work with The Congregation. Now that the fall is upon us, it is time for GROUP 3 to get going!

If you could use an extra push, better habits, some inspiration, a group of amazing people to be around, a challenging yet supportive environment to be in and leaders and a program that will look you in the eye and lovingly HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE….The Congregation is for YOU.

What Michael Littig has Co-Created with me and with the help of some amazing friends, we have created something that i fully believe in. Today is your day-“TAKE ACTION” and reach out to us about this amazing and exclusive opportunity for a very few people.

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Co-Creators of The Congregation, Michael Littig and Me. Getting Cold with mentor, Wim Hof.

You can now check out our new and awesome website CongregationCoaching.com to read more details. The 1st meeting for Group 3 will be Saturday, September 23rd and the spots will fill up fast. DO IT NOW!

You don’t have to take my word for the life-changing results. Read what Congregant Timmy Hays had to say about her experience in The Congregation!

“When I signed on for The Congregation, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I knew that I trusted Brian and wanted to be a part of this thing he was really passionate about. I knew that there HAD to be some secret door to unlock to get me the juicy, fulfilling life I was chasing. I knew that whatever I was doing simply wasn’t working. It just wasn’t IT, you know? Brian taught me the tools to get there. The work we did in The Congregation was hard. We got deep and gritty and vulnerable and I wouldn’t trade that work for anything. We were a motley crew facing demons, admitting the hard stuff, ending relationships that didn’t serve, getting bigger and better jobs, and dealing with the uncomfortable. We celebrated each other’s victories and we held each other up on the setbacks. We did the work and we held each other accountable. We did the work and we grew stronger. We did the work. The congregation gave me my power back.” –

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Congregants L to R-Gillian, Gregory, Theresa,Timmy, Barbara

If you could use an experience like this, that can CHANGE YOUR LIFE….ACT NOW!

Don’t wait on this one. It will be the final group of 2017 and big things are happening for Congregation Coaching.

MFF Co-founder, Kyle Langworthy had something he wanted to tell you about his experience in The Congregation. 

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Me and Kyle Langworthy

“If you want to climb the seemingly insurmountable mountain you’ve potentially been staring at for some while now, The Congregation is the catalyst of positivity that will help you do it. RUN to do this amazing program and start living your best life as soon as possible. Trust me, the value is worth it and then some!”-

Are you ready TO TAKE ACTION NOW?

Go to CongregationCoaching.com for more details or reach out to me personally!

 

 

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Are you ready? The Congregation-Group 2

As our 1st group of The Congregation is winding down, we are ready to get going on Group 2 of The Congregation. Are you interested in TRANSFORMATION, through strong COMMUNITY, ruthless ACCOUNTABILITY and expert COACHING?  If so, keep reading.

Group 2 of The Congregation is on SALE NOW. The first group of The Congregation, continually blows me away with their commitment and focus, and their work has been truly phenomenal. The feedback has been great and my belief in this program grows stronger every day. Without further ado, it is time! The Congregation, Group 2 starts May 13th and finishes July 1st.

The Congregation is an exclusive group created by the Minister of Belief, Brian Patrick Murphy.

MISSION

The Congregation exists to provide community, accountability, and personal growth for people committed to becoming their best selves.  Under the guidance of The Congregation leaders, members receive weekly assignments and valuable, expert coaching to help reveal their authentic, best self.

VISION

The Congregation is about transformation. The Congregation is meant to push one’s boundaries to unlock one’s true identity.  By assuming collective habits within a small community of no more than ten individuals, each Congregation group explores fundamental lessons investigating integrity, persistence, doubt, and many other fundamental life ideals.

Once you join The Congregation, and finish your initial 8 weeks, you will have the option to become a lifetime member. Lifetime members will have access to exclusive coaching possibilities and events curated by The Congregation. 

TIME/Location

The Congregation meets once a week on Saturday evenings from 5:20-7:20pm for two hours during a eight-week period. Group 2 of The Congregation starts on May 13th . We meet in midtown Manhattan.

Value

You will attend 8 Weeks of The Congregation meetings; each lasting 2 hours for 16 hours of in person coaching, weekly lessons, group accountability and rituals. You will also have access to Congregation leaders and mentors during your 8 weeks. To coach with Brian for 16 total hours for 1 on 1 coaching would cost over $3600. The extra access comes as part of being a member of this group of dedicated members. When you do all of the work during the 8 weeks of The Congregation, you will save over $2700 from the cost of 1 on 1 coaching.

Price

The Congregation is 2 payments of $600 for a total of $1200. But really, for those of you who are financially motivated, The Congregation is potentially ONLY $800. How is this? Keep reading.

Financial Incentive

As a member of The Congregation; when you do the work that you are assigned, you will get money back. Every week when you show up and have done the work, you receive $50 back. Absolutely, guaranteed. You will simply have your word to provide The Congregation leaders, and you will get money back every single week.

INTERVIEW

There is a screening process involved, which begins with a phone interview. We need to make sure you’re a good fit for the group and can contribute to The Congregation’s collective goal of self improvement.

The Congregation is only for people willing to be held to high standards and to take ruthless accountability. If this is you, get in touch. CongregationCoaching@gmail.com

Once approved the 1st payment will be due by April 29th. Payment in full will be due by May 6th.

Don’t wait, there are a limited number of spaces for Group 2. If you have any questions please contact: CongregationCoaching@gmail.com ASAP!

*Oh, and without a doubt-THERE IS A MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. If The Congregation doesn’t change you, you can have it all back!

Let’s GO!

BPM

 

Lessons Learned/Important Announcement-The Congregation!

At the start of the New Year i announced a new coaching program. This program came to be known as The Congregation and my 1st group is more than half-way done with their 8 weeks. It has been a real privilege to create and run this program and i have learned many lessons in the short time i have been working on it. Not only is this post about the lessons i have learned, but it is also the announcement of the 2nd group of The Congregation! So, let’s start with some LESSONS LEARNED, shall we?!

  1. Planning and Preparation are paramount. Yes, i am really proud of the alliteration used, but this is absolutely true. I had never created anything like this before and i knew that this would be a challenge. I knew that i would need to be overly prepared for the start of this program and for every weeks meetings. Of course this has been confirmed. I gave myself a specific amount of time every morning where i could work on The Congregation. Sometimes i didn’t even know what i needed to work on or where to start, but i would give myself the time anyway. I would wake up, put on calming music and take notes or brainstorm ideas. My goal was to be overly prepared for every meeting, then intuitively move forward in the moment. What that means to me is that i wanted to have a specific plan, but then NOT be rigid with it.
  2. Ask for help! YES! This is obvious. But seriously, very important. There are many parts of creating a new program or business that I don’t know how to do. I realize that i need to ask for help from experts at those things. It has been way easier for me to get professional help from awesome people than to try to do things i am not good at and that i don’t enjoy doing. Spreadsheets, planning, ordering, design and many other specific details are not in my wheel-house. Thankfully i have had great help. It has also been massively helpful to have someone to run ideas across and to help me create many aspect of what The Congregation is.
  3. Spend money and be ok with it. To create a program or new business you are going to have to spend some money. Space, materials, professional help and time all cost money. I accepted this very early on in the planning process. I’m always thinking about what things are worth spending the money on, and what aren’t. Every entrepreneur reading this just said “duh”.
  4. Don’t be satisfied! I am extremely happy with the way the 1st group of The Congregation has gone. But, i am not satisfied. I want it to get better and better. I accept the things that are going really well, but also acknowledge and work constantly on how to make the program even better. I want it to improve, to create even more value for the people taking part. KEEP GOING!
  5. Have fun! Yes, i like to have fun! Working on this project has been a blast for me. It is a lesson that i take with me everyday, HAVE FUN! I am fortunate and lucky enough in my life where i can choose to do things that are fun for me. This is something i am grateful for and also a lesson to continually learn for myself. I am good at things when they are FUN for me. The Congregation is fun for me.

I could go on for hours about many more lessons learned, but those are a great place to start. Speaking of STARTING….

Next week on April 10th, we will be starting to register people for GROUP 2 of The Congregation. Group 2 will start on May 13th and go for 8 weeks until July 1st. We will meet on Saturday evenings in Midtown. The Congregation is limited to 9 people and GROUP 2 already has members wanting to join. Reach out ASAP and be ready for more information on The Congregation!

For those interested, email CongregationCoaching@gmail.com

GLORY!

BPM

Habits: A Super Bowl Reflection!

It was 6pm last night and my wife and i were discussing what food to make. We had the night off together, all alone on our coach, and the Super Bowl was on. Even better, we have started watching Game Of Thrones together and are in Season 3. I didn’t particularly care about either team in the game, but we still wanted to make some Super Bowl snacks. YUMMY!!

First came the chicken wings, then mozzarella sticks and waffle fries. All of that was joined with a large dosage of tortilla chips, M&M’s and basically anything else crappy we had in the cabinet. Honestly, it was pretty delicious and i enjoyed it all. Sure, my belly was kind of cramping up and i’m feeling it pretty good today too. But, the GOT episodes were getting serious and the game was coming to an epic conclusion.

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As i smiled and enjoyed my junk food, i started thinking about all the habits in my life. I was thinking about the habits that i’ve built to create an overall-very healthy lifestyle. I was thinking about all of the people that were eating like crap during the Super Bowl and how that night of bingeing might really throw them for a loop. I was also thinking about the many health professionals i know that were encouraging people to NOT eat all the crap last night. And i was thinking about all of the people that really really wanted some chips and salsa and stayed far away for the fear of how it might affect them. Apparently, i like to “think” a lot while i eat.

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The real reason all of this was on my mind was because of the new “CONGREGATION” group coaching program i have created. This program focuses in part on HABITS. HABITS are something i talk about often and have even written about some. Habits must start somewhere and stick with us for a long period of time, and become part of our lives. We get to choose whether we want our habits to be GOOD ones or BAD ones. And, some of the latest research on Habits shows that what we used to think took only 21 days to develop, is now showing that it really takes 7 months to make a habit sustainable. My buddies over at Habitry are leading the way with this great research.

OK OK OK-so WHY was i thinking about HABITS while i was eating really crappy food during the Super Bowl? Was i thinking that i have a BAD habit with this food or what? No. I was enjoying the heck out of the food with the understanding that this night of junk food is the anomaly, NOT the HABIT. I felt very luck and fortunate. My Habits with a healthy lifestyle have been a part of my life for more years than i can count.

I am endlessly grateful for my mother who cooked homemade meals almost daily. She also didn’t keep much crappy food in the house and we always had veggies, fruit and lots of protein. I am also forever thankful that i was raised or naturally had the urge to constantly exercise. When i was young, it was just thought of as ‘playing’.  From as early as i can remember, I lifted weights in my basement, went for early morning runs, played every sport imaginable(not very well), and have stayed with this active lifestyle even now in my late 30’s. I never fell out of the habit of constant activity and eating well, at least MOST of the time. And that is what HABITS are. Habits are ingrained in you. They are a part of your daily lifestyle.

You see, this is why i am always talking about how FITNESS/Exercise/Nutrition/etc must be about a LIFESTYLE, not a quick solution. This is something that must become part of WHO we are on the regular and not a thing to think about to solve a quick problem. I knew while eating my delicious mozzarella sticks that my HABIT is not fragile. 1 night of fried food, or even a week or a couple weeks, will NOT throw me off my LIFETIME Habit of eating MOSTLY pretty well. That is certainly true with my fitness too. I’ve had times in my life where i’ve been waaaaay more RIPPED or STRONGER or HOTTER or SKINNIER or whatever metric we want to use. BUT, due to the great fortune of the HABIT i have built since childhood-i can’t think of a time in my life where i haven’t done some sort of rigorous (subjective) exercise at least 3 days a week. This, i feel forever lucky and grateful for.

The people i have watched that have created the biggest changes in their lives have built up these HABITS and stuck with them for a long period of time. Sure, their results aren’t always linear and they have to learn to deal with that. BUT, the HABITS of consistency and showing up become part of their lives. This is NOT a focus for 3 or 12 months-but an acceptance of a LIFETIME Habit.

We are all at different parts of our journey. Some of us are still in the beginning moments of building a habit and some are far along on the journey. But, we all can constantly work on Habits that ultimately serve us to BE who we truly WANT to be. It certainly IS a choice.

If you are looking to be challenged and ready to build some new Habits, get in touch with me asap. My group program-“The CONGREGATION” is just about full. It won’t be easy, but it WILL BE WORTH IT!

Happy Monday, CONGREGATION!

BPM

 

PROGRAM ANNOUNCEMENT!-WHO’S IN? THE “CONGREGATION”

1 month ago i teased a new program that i was committed to starting. The time is come and i am in the finishing steps of it. I am ready to ROCK.

I am extremely excited to start with my 1st small-group, to see how far we can go. After 100’s of hours of 1 on 1 “life-coaching” sessions with great success for my clients, i am ready to help more people get even better results, with a greater value and a full support team doing it with them.

For 8 weeks a small group of an extremely committed “Congregation” will meet-up and be  challenged in ways that perhaps they never have been. They will also be challenging themselves on days when we are NOT meeting.

Starting on the 1st Saturday in March and moving forward for 8 weeks, my group will be challenged and supported to do things they have never done!

If you are someone looking to make some significant changes, you know how to find me. I am opening up for just 1 or 2 more members to join our “Congregation”. Please know- you will be challenged, it will NOT be cheap and it won’t be easy. BUT, you will be supported and YOU ARE GUARANTEED TO get RESULTS.

  • 8 Weeks
  • Saturday Evenings in person
  • Financial Incentive(money back)
  • Accountability
  • ACTION
  • CONGREGATION
  • Must be pre-approved by ME

RESULTS GUARANTEED

If you are reading this, you probably know how to find me!

Are you someone who knows THEY WANT or NEED to be challenged?

Join the “CONGREGATION”, email/text or call me immediately!

 

BPM

2017:New year-new projects, IT’s ON!

2017 is off and i am flying along already. I have many thoughts and potential upcoming posts about the year that was 2016.  If my social media feed is analogous to the average American experience in 2016, the year was a very mixed bag of emotions. But, i would be dishonest and insincere if i didn’t acknowledge that it was a really good year for me. I’m not going to review or preach about that here. But, i am excited to move forward with some fun projects that were birthed in 2016 and will grow in 2017.

Something that did happen in 2016 was that my dear friend Rog Law and I challenged each other to write some form of content, every week. We chatted a few times in NYC and got a baseline of ideas about wanting to create some sort of product together. That is still in the works at some point. But, due to logistics it turned into a “Content Accountability” game with each other. We set the stakes high to make sure we did our work: Rog said he would donate to the KKK if he didn’t do his work, and I said i would donate to a certain mans political campaign if i didn’t do my work. Rog is a black man and i certainly am NOT a supporter of the previously mentioned man and his now successful political campaign. The high stakes worked for us both. Neither the KKK or “that man” received a penny from us. For a few months of 2016, i wrote something for public consumption every single week. Sometimes i wrote 2 articles a week. During this time, i also put more work into a personal writing project than i ever had.

The momentum i gained with the focused writing is going to carry forward into this year. I will continually write more, publish more, speak more, create more and hopefully fail more. Even on a simple blog, as this one, butterflies hit my stomach the moment before i hit PUBLISH. But, as one of my mentors the legendary Seth Godin, always writes/speaks about-I WILL SHIP!

I have woken up in the middle of the night for about a week with a project in my mind. It is something that i dreamed during 2016 but am now really starting to flesh-out. It is a new COACHING/CONSULTING/ACCOUNTABILITY/LIFE-CHANGING/ACTION program. For the last 4 years or so, i have done 100’s of 1 on 1 COACHING SESSIONS, led small groups in workshops and used my coaching skills everyday at MFF. But now, i have dreamed up a NEW PROGRAM. I couldn’t be more pumped.

Some things my new 8-week program will be:

  • Challenging
  • Ritualistic
  • Million-dollar value
  • ALL-IN or nothing
  • Small Group
  • In person
  • ACTION-BASED
  • Emotional
  • Rigid
  • Focused
  • Accountability-Driven
  • Educational
  • GUARANTEED LIFE-CHANGING..YUP!
  • Financial Incentive-laden (sounds interesting, huh?!)

That is the main thing i will be working on, solo. It will be my first, fully funded and created by BPM-ME program. I am still working on it, everyday and there will be more info soon. If you or someone you know is looking to really get after it, have them find me. I’ve already got a handful of people ready to go, so reach out in a hurry.’

But the best thing about this for ME is that it is a challenge. My writing. My program. The overhaul of a website: These are all challenging and terrifying artistic ventures for me and i love to be scared.

So, here’s to 2017. Zero doubt about it-IT IS ON!20160119_132900

 

Where are the “better angels of our nature”?

The non-stop news cycle can really get me down. I know I’m not the only one. Tensions are high and everyone i know personally or peripherally is emotional. Especially about this election season. Screaming, cussing, name-calling and at its worse, threatening. Lately, i have also noticed what i call the “unfriend-ing” of society. People who don’t agree with each other, take to social media platforms, call each other names, then say “if you don’t agree with me, unfriend me”. This totally makes sense in some ways and frankly, i FEEL like doing it sometimes too. I want to hole myself into my perfect little community and surround myself only with people who believe the exact things i believe. For whatever reasons, i’ve also had a lot of friends ask me my thoughts on the whole thing and even wanting me to “post something political”. So as i often do, some stories that may or may not feel relevant.

It was the fall of 1996 and i was just starting college as a Freshman at Ole Miss (The University of Mississippi). I was 17 years old and younger than that in many ways. I was from the very southern tip of Illinois. The middle of nowhere, really. Somewhere between a forest and a field. In Mississippi that is called a “Yankee”, albeit only about 4 hours away. Things were different. Confederate flags flew all over the place in Oxford. The only flags i was used to seeing in So. Il  were in run-down shacks in the middle of the woods or the occasional pick- up truck with a bumper sticker. We generally referred to the people who had them as “rednecks”. But in Oxford, Ms in 1996 the students and fans waved this flag in the stadium to cheer on the sports teams, and as a sense of pride. I didn’t really understand it and it didn’t feel great. It was a confusing time for me. The irony of cheering a football team of mostly black players, while waving a confederate flag wasn’t lost on me. But, the interesting thing is that a lot of these fans/students became my friends, my fraternity brothers. They were from places all over the deep south with the accents and similar haircut to boot. And while we definitely had very different political views, we got along quite well. I’m sure i was the only boy in my fraternity of 150 that had a “Clinton/Gore” bumper sticker on his car. There weren’t many others on campus either. I recall sitting in the little family room of our fraternity house arguing politics with the entire room on 1 side and me on the other. The argument ended with mostly “oh fuck it all…let’s take a shot and grab another beer. We love your Yankee ass.” I would say something like “and fuck you too, you rednecks.” Then we would generally laugh and continue to drink heavily.  I also remember watching Stewart Patridge, the QB of Ole Miss hitting Cory Peterson for a big touchdown pass and picking up a flag, jumping up and down and waving it like crazy. I was cheering my team on. Occasionally, i would ask one of my friends “Why are we still waving this flag?” The response would usually be something like “because that’s what we’ve always done, so we do it.”  Whether it was right or wrong, most of us students weren’t thinking about the politics of that flag when we were cheering on our team. Luckily the University wised up  in my time there, and created some rules around it.

When you are in a very masculine environment like a southern fraternity, you hear a lot of things. Things that now, with 20 years of hindsight could easily offend me. The misogyny, anti-gay language and certainly some language about race as well. I would be lying and naive to say that all didn’t exist. It is also naive to say or imply that it doesn’t still. I joined the Theatre Dept at Ole Miss and that was quite the contrast to my fraternity life. Most of my friends in the Theatre Dept. were gay and quite different from the fraternity boys. Of course i would hear the jokes and the rhetoric. I didn’t always like it and i often challenged it. In face to face conversation or while throwing a football outside, or drinking beer and listening to bands play or while talking about picking up girls at a bar, these kinds of conversations would happen. Certainly, many of these guys were uncomfortable as hell at the thought of gay guys. I got to know these guys and we were friends, we shared experiences and had a lot of fun and a lot of them remain friends of mine to this day. By the time i was a Junior at Ole Miss i would bring my openly gay friends over to my fraternity house. I’m not sure if that had ever happened before.

I went to events in Oxford thrown by my friends in the College Republicans. I helped campaign for the first Black student body President of Ole Miss get elected. His name is Nic Lott and he is a Republican. I’ve joined Nic, Carson, Howie, Jimbo and other friends at a function in NYC for high paying Republican donors, where Ronald Reagan Jr. spoke. I certainly didn’t agree with most of the things he was saying. But, my friends invited me and i had a great time with them.

Most of the men who fought alongside my dad in Vietnam are pretty conservative, too. I’ve watched my dad handle this pretty well over all the years and it has been interesting for me to sit around campfires and BBQ’s and at bars, drunkenly listening to perspectives that are so far opposite of my own beliefs. Many times i have been red in the face, and felt the anger boiling in my blood. And many members of one side of my family also campaign hard for very Conservative politicians. I love my family, deeply.

I ask us all: How is shutting ourselves off helping? How is calling each other names helping? Are you educating the world by only engaging like-minded people? Are we quickly moving to a world in which you will be accepted or denied a position at a job depending on your political beliefs? Will we not invite our neighbors over for a drink or for a kids b-day party if they are supporting a candidate different than we are? How is that helping our children? How are we teaching them in those moments?

I’m not perfect friends, and i get pissed as hell about all this crap sometimes. But maybe listening to each other might help. Maybe engaging your friends in a peaceful conversation might help. Maybe not in the immediate year, but for years ahead. Maybe you are planting seeds that will be harvested and sowed years or generations down the line.

I am thankful for my friends and family with so many different beliefs, that still support me, that still engage me. These people still call and text me. They “like” my photos, came to my wedding, send me emails and say “hi” to me when they run into my relatives in the grocery store and cheer for the same teams that i do.

I ask you friends, where are “the better angels of our nature”?

BPM

 

NYC.

Late last week i was inspired to write about my own neighborhood in Astoria, NY. A very scary and potentially devastating attempt was made to blow up many innocent humans, walking the streets of New York. The best way i found to express during this time was to post the following blog on my public Facebook page. I’m planning to do more with this over time, but for now i wanted to make sure it is saved in my blog for posterity.

 

NYC: I really love you! I really love where i live. You bring me hope in many ways! With so much hate, anger, pain and fear, this place is a beacon.My apartment building/street that i live on is amazing and a prime example of how NYC can be the BEST! Diversity/kindness/friendship/happiness/love.
My upstairs neighbors’ from the small country of Montenegro bring me cigars from their dad. They have 2 boys and another on the way.The kind husband is a hardworking doorman at a fancy NYC apartment building. Their father(and mother) are my landlords and have done nothing as Immigrant Americans; except to raise 5 boys in a 1 bedroom apartment. He bought my current building and supported his family by working in the same Italian restaurant as a waiter, that he still works in today. His customers love him, give him cigars and he drops them off for me, at my door, of my apartment, that he owns, that i pay him for. He brings over his brother to fix any and every possible thing that could be a problem in my apartment. The brother, upon meeting us for the very first time; measured our windows, offered and subsequently drove us in HIS CAR to Home Depot, helped us pick out new shades, cut them, carried them, drove us home and installed them for us. FOR FREE.
Another neighbor is from Costa Rica and his wife from Mexico. He found out that i lived and studied in Costa Rica and brings me gifts, weekly. Hot sauce, pictures, coffee and candy are the things i remember off the top of my head. He also loves to challenge my Spanish skills. He drives buses for the city and his wife cleans apartments and offices. Their recent high school graduate son loves to lift weights and talk to me about it. He studies fashion in the city now. They are as friendly as any humans i’ve known in 38 years.

The old man down the street sits outside on his stoop, seemingly at all hours. He keeps a small, padded seat on the stair of the stoop. Nobody bothers it. The only things he puts in his body for sustenance is coffee and cigarettes, apparently. He always waves at me and never misses the chance to bring up the weather to Amy.
Upstairs, other neighbors are Moroccan. People call the father the “professor” because he teaches computer science at a college. They have beautiful children, who always stop and say hi to me. They are faithful Muslims.They love our other next-door neighbors whom i mention in the next paragraph.
Next door are our ( my wife Amy Van Norstrand Murphy ) and my FAVORITES! She is from Sicily as are her husband and best friend. They must be at least 75 or 80 years old. They are the Mayors of my street. They sit outside in their lawn chairs, on the sidewalk. She is the only one who speaks English, with a truly amazing, thick accent. This amazing woman often screams to me “Brian, where is beautiful Amy? Amy good? She is a perfect, beautiful woman. Isn’t life beautiful? You both are so beautiful.” She kisses every single child who walks by her. ALL OF THEM. She gets out of her chair, kisses them, speaks to their parents, goes to the basement and brings them candy. Oftentimes the children are Muslim.

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I can’t pronounce most of the names of the immigrants and 1st generation Americans from reading them on the mailboxes in our vestibule, and I’m pretty damn good with names. But i do know that these are damn fine people. As good as any folks i’ve ever had the privilege to live near. A lot of people i know, who i grew up with and went to school with would be terrified just looking at our mailboxes.The obscure names from countries i can barely find on a map. But I’m so unbelievably grateful for having this wonderful opportunity to know better. My hope is that many others will be lucky enough to experience this like i am.
We sure are lucky, Amy Van Norstrand Murphy!

Process/Support…so far!

I’ve been writing a lot lately. I have been happy that i have committed to it and stuck with it for the last few months. Perhaps today i will go back and try to find the date on my calendar when i first officially committed to myself that i would write 4 mornings every single week. But, it must be at least a couple of months and probably more. This is a huge step for me, and i am happy about it.

My plan has been to write Tues-Fri mornings. I wake up an extra hour earlier than i normally do, and write. That means that i set my alarm for just over 3 hours before i must be at work. I have nailed this every single week when my weekly schedule has been consistent. A couple of days here and there, someone at work has had a morning schedule change and i have worked early in the morning. The times this has happened, i let myself sleep in and not worry about writing. I am absolutely thrilled about my attitude toward that. It would be very easy for me personally to get very rigid or upset about missing a morning, but for whatever reason, i’ve been able to let it go. I’ve been ok with letting my body get the extra hour or two of sleep that it needs, instead of forcefully following a guideline i set for myself. It has worked to have a set schedule, without a rigid attitude toward it.

I guess this is the reason for todays post: My writing is about DOING THE WORK. It is truly about THE PROCESS. My writing is because i have things i want to say(write), and i want to get them down. That is the goal…for now.

I’ve tried to write and have written a ton in the past. I would write for 2 or 3 days, then stop. I would get 6 or 7 pages and quit. I would feel like i had nothing left to say. My thoughts would start to jumble in my head. I would confuse myself because one paragraph would be 1st person story-telling, then the next would be from an omniscient story teller, etc. I would start to edit and only notice bad punctuation or grammar. I would get furious about my poor sentence structure. I would realize that i was absolute shit and just quit. I could write nominally well for a few paragraphs, then the rest was total garbage. So i threw in the towel. every.single.time.

My goal on the 4mornings/week is to write 1 sentence. If i can only write 1 sentence, i have SUCCEEDED!  No editing allowed. Just writing. If you’ve never worked on a writing project, you may not realize how difficult 1 freaking sentence can be some days. Perhaps obviously, most days it turns into way more than 1 sentence. But either way, i did the work. I was a writer for that day.

About 99% of the time i wake up before my alarm even starts buzzing. I walk down the hallway toward my kitchen, where i will put the coffee on. I can honestly say that most of the time, i am TERRIFIED because my 1st thought is: I HAVE NOTHING TO WRITE TODAY! Thank GOD/ENERGY/UNIVERSE that i have held onto Steven Pressfield’s writings and physically say out loud to myself, “It’s just RESISTANCE. DO THE WORK”.

I write this today to support you. To support those of you that are actively IN A PROCESS, ON A JOURNEY or really want to be. Whether it is fitness and health, or you are a writer of anything or creating a new product/business, this is for you. If you are wanting to lose weight, it is NO DIFFERENT than this. It will be days and days of months and maybe years, putting in the work. Somedays it will be a long walk, and some days you will have the greatest training session EVER. If you are creating a new product, somedays you will have BRILLIANT ideas and other days you will basically have none. If you wanna be a writer, you GOTTA WRITE.

Journey on friends. Keep moving. 1 freaking step at a time.

bpm

 

GRATEFUL!

This morning i am drinking my coffee in the dark. I do this every morning and i love it. I wake up, sit in my recliner, pour my coffee and put on the “Braveheart” Pandora station. I sit down with a big glass of water next to me and i start to write. Sometimes i write a paragraph. Sometimes I write many pages. I am a person of ritual and i love the way my day starts. It works for me. I was sitting here typing and working on another writing project, and i started thinking about this week that has been.

There have been some truly awful things happen to friends very close to me and i have cried often. From some very sad tragedy of 3 families in my adopted, college hometown of Oxford, Ms, and very sad news of some of my closest friends losing a sibling to a drunk driving incident. The sadness and pain is all around. I certainly don’t have the appropriate words to understand or to try and heal the pain of my friends. But in this moment, i know that the best i can do to honor these people struggling, is to be truly GRATEFUL for all of the things that i have. So, i will indulge in my post today and simply list some things that at this moment i feel truly, deeply, un-cynically GRATEFUL for. I encourage YOU to do the same. Don’t edit yourself, go for it and see how you feel by letting your fingers fly.

My wife: Her love, humor, Her handwork, Her beauty. My home: cool, clean, warm, safe, quiet. My job: The opportunity to be passionate. To train people who want something more. To do something i believe in wholeheartedly. My co-workers: the greatest humans i know. Funny, smart, hardworking, silly. My family: kind, loving, smart, supportive. Perfect mom and dad. I am grateful and thankful for their health, their unyielding support of me. My brother and sister. They have loved and supported me constantly while i did my best at all times to need all the attention.My perfect niece and 2 beautiful nephews who provide my world with tons of joy and hope!  My giant extended family of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, in-laws and the list goes on. They have been a god-send. Warm food and cool water. A college education. Friends that i have had since childhood and friends that are more recent. Some friends that have come and gone. I am grateful for every lesson i took from them. My teachers throughout my life. Many of them showed more patience than i probably deserved. I am grateful for the opportunities i have had to travel the world. Much of that time i was working and getting paid for it. I almost can’t believe i have been that lucky and grateful. I am grateful that i get paid days off, sick days, personal days and vacation days. I am grateful that i have a healthy body and mind. I am grateful that i can afford to eat. I am grateful for a comfortable bed and clean sheets. I am grateful that i get to spend time at the beach. I am grateful that i feel valued and valuable at work. I am grateful that i have a warm shower. I am grateful for delicious coffee. I am grateful that i live in NYC. I am grateful for my many mentors. I am grateful for my many colleagues i have around the country. I am grateful for the opportunity to continually learn. I am grateful for my noise-reducing headphones. I am grateful for access to beautiful music and art and theatre. I am grateful for books to read. I am grateful for clean water. I am grateful for clean clothes. I am grateful for this beautiful life.

Make your lists friends. Read them over and over again. It is so easy for all of us to get caught up in thinking about WHAT MORE that we want. But i can assure you that there is a TON to be GRATEFUL for! I believe that the absolute best way to honor those that are struggling, beyond offering our help, is to truly be GRATEFUL for those things that we DO HAVE.

Love, light and prayers to all my friends who are currently in the darkness.

BPM